Just to give some background info as this blog is birthed:
I'm what some might call a "guy magnet." In fact, that's what the girls in my dorm called me in college, even though I wasn't even close to dating anyone. The fact of the matter was this: the first friend I made on campus was a guy. Was there any romantic interest? No. The cycle continued, with me making lots of friends who were mostly guys. There was no romantic interest on either part: theirs or mine. I've been called "the guy's best friend," and "the girl next door." In 7th grade I had a crush on a friend of mine named Greg, and yet I didn't let on, and instead tried to fix him up with another girl who liked him.
Why a “guy magnet?” I wondered the same thing. Apparently it didn’t constitute dating these guys, because I never did date them. More on that later.
I was a “guy magnet” because I knew how to talk with guys, and how to make eye-contact. I didn’t fuss or giggle. I listened to them talk about their girlfriends, their problems, their problems with girlfriends. I listened unconditionally. I was “the girl next door.”
It’s all about communication. My brother had the same issue with girls – they could talk freely, and he’d listen.
I’ve also been told that I “think like a guy.” I don’t know about that. Ask my husband. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.
My best and closest friends have almost always been guys.
There was Eric when we were in our mothers' wombs, friends throughout childhood. There was Andrew, my neighbor, in my early grade school years. Mark, Chris, and Ben (Ben, whom I had a crush on, too) in 4th and 5th grade. Greg and I were close all through middle school. Matt when I was 16; he and I are still close now, though not as close since I've been married. Growing up changes things a bit.
In college there were dozens. Chase, Lucas, Chris, Luke...the list goes on.
I never dated any of these guys.
Not even in high school!
I’d always watched my friends get hurt in relationships, and I just wasn’t interested in casual dating. I wasn’t even romantically attracted to most of the guys I was friends with; there were only one or two for whom I felt anything remotely romantic. I did “date” a few guys during my college years, and most of those few were mistakes to begin with.
Greg and I did come close to dating a few times (in middle school, mind you), and we may have gone steady later on if he hadn't moved during 9th grade. We wrote letters and phoned each other, never letting on to one another that we both had mutual crushes. That truth didn't come out until I was 21. We visited with each other when I was 22 and thinking of getting married to another guy, a jerk. I was still "in love" (or so I thought) with Greg, and asked if there was any chance for us. He always knew how to treat me, and was a bar I used as a standard when comparing other guys. He said "no," and that we were meant to only be friends at this point. I moved on, still comparing others to him, because I knew there had to be someone else as wonderful, if not better, for me.
Then I met Mike.
(To be continued...)